The Style, Bitch by Fashtion Kutcher It seems that summer is ending, but not fast enough! If i see another pair of shorts or sandals or sunglasses (ugh) I’m gonna shoot my brains all over this hot mess. Let’s just jump into this, before I throw a fit or something. Kate Hudson I’m surprised that there’s not a noose around her neck. Because this outfit would make me want to commit suicide. Look at that cardigan. Was there a sale at I-Am-A-Piece-Of-Crap-With-No-Sense-Of-Style Mart? No, that’s where she got the jeans. And maybe those sunglasses are because she’s gone blind. Then she might have an excuse for wearing that trainwreck of an outfit in public. What tacky hospital did she steal that bag from? And those boots? At least she cleaned them after wading through a septic tank to find this shitty outfit. Miley Cyrus Okay. I’ll totally ignore that she’s riding a bike because she’s like three years old or whatever, but look at that what’s on her head! It’s like Kohl’s got Sears preggerz, and then Sears tried to have an abortion, and then Miley put that aborted fetus on her head, thinking it was a hat. And I hope that’s a garbage pail in the front of her bike, because that’s the only place that ugly purse belongs. And that shirt? More like shit to me. LOL. Oh, and 1997 called. They said that they know you took their jeans, but that you can keep them, because they were ugly anyway. And those sandals? I hope they get stuck in that bike whell thingy and get ripped to shreds so the world never has to see them again. Hillary Duff What’s black and white and red all over? Hillary Duff’s ugly outfit after making my eyes bleed from its utter tackiness. And utter’s an appropriate word because she looks like a cow. And not just because of her ugly face. This makes me wanna vom. Seriously, that whole outfit is uglier than your stupid face. I hope that monstrousity on your wrist is a handcuff, because you should be beaten to death by the Los Angeles Fashion Police. And what can I say about that belt? Nothing, because it’s causing me to gag so much that I can’t speak. And that purse? Well, if you dropped it on the ground you would legally have to pick it up in a plastic bag and throw it out or you would be fined. Dernier Cri? That outfit is making me cri. I feel bad for the homeless woman who’s walking around barefoot now, because you stole her ugly sandals. Before I could finish writing this blog, I had to call a suicide hotline, because I felt like life wouldn’t be worth living with this sort of style genocide going on all over. These girls should be ashamed of themselves. They are terrible people. 

The Style, Bitch

by Fashtion Kutcher

It seems that summer is ending, but not fast enough! If i see another pair of shorts or sandals or sunglasses (ugh) I’m gonna shoot my brains all over this hot mess. Let’s just jump into this, before I throw a fit or something.

Kate Hudson

I’m surprised that there’s not a noose around her neck. Because this outfit would make me want to commit suicide.

Look at that cardigan. Was there a sale at I-Am-A-Piece-Of-Crap-With-No-Sense-Of-Style Mart?

No, that’s where she got the jeans.

And maybe those sunglasses are because she’s gone blind. Then she might have an excuse for wearing that trainwreck of an outfit in public.

What tacky hospital did she steal that bag from?

And those boots? At least she cleaned them after wading through a septic tank to find this shitty outfit.

Miley Cyrus

Okay. I’ll totally ignore that she’s riding a bike because she’s like three years old or whatever, but look at that what’s on her head! It’s like Kohl’s got Sears preggerz, and then Sears tried to have an abortion, and then Miley put that aborted fetus on her head, thinking it was a hat.

And I hope that’s a garbage pail in the front of her bike, because that’s the only place that ugly purse belongs.

And that shirt? More like shit to me. LOL.

Oh, and 1997 called. They said that they know you took their jeans, but that you can keep them, because they were ugly anyway.

And those sandals? I hope they get stuck in that bike whell thingy and get ripped to shreds so the world never has to see them again.

Hillary Duff

What’s black and white and red all over?

Hillary Duff’s ugly outfit after making my eyes bleed from its utter tackiness. And utter’s an appropriate word because she looks like a cow. And not just because of her ugly face. This makes me wanna vom.

Seriously, that whole outfit is uglier than your stupid face.

I hope that monstrousity on your wrist is a handcuff, because you should be beaten to death by the Los Angeles Fashion Police.

And what can I say about that belt? Nothing, because it’s causing me to gag so much that I can’t speak.

And that purse? Well, if you dropped it on the ground you would legally have to pick it up in a plastic bag and throw it out or you would be fined.

Dernier Cri? That outfit is making me cri.

I feel bad for the homeless woman who’s walking around barefoot now, because you stole her ugly sandals.

Before I could finish writing this blog, I had to call a suicide hotline, because I felt like life wouldn’t be worth living with this sort of style genocide going on all over. These girls should be ashamed of themselves.

They are terrible people.