(This man is writing a letter.)

Dear Jennifer,

How is New York? You must be having fun. You’ve always wanted to go there. I suppose working for an internet site is fun. I don’t understand that stuff.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. You wanna come and spend a week on the boat?

Whales.

(Crumbles up paper. Begins new letter.)

Dear Jenny,

Things are great! How about you! World wide web, huh? Sounds fun. Not as fun as a week with your old man on the

(Crumbles up paper. Sighs. Begins new letter.)

Jenny,

I miss ya. I miss everybody. My life is so lonely. I’ve begin imitating the whale calls I hear just so I can pretend to have a conver

(Crumbles up paper. Takes a shot of whiskey. Sighs.)

Dear Jennifer,

(Takes a shot of whiskey again.)

Do you want to come boating with me?

(Takes another shot.)

I have been kidnapped by pirates. That is all I can say. I am

(Shakes head. Crumbles up paper. Starts new letter.)

Deaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh,

Eaaaaahhhhhhh

(Crumbles up paper. Utters “damn whales” to self. Starts new letter.)

Jenny,

I am coming to visit you in New York!

Love,

Dad