Hello friends, I write this e-mail in hopes that any of you may know the whereabouts of my dear Uncle Louie. He has been missing for several years and recently was spotted at this year’s Halloween parade. I have enclosed a photo (above) of his typical appearance (yes, he dresses like that on days that aren’t Halloween, as well). He has several traits that might draw your attention, so please take notice if you spot anybody doing anything like this: Making a big production out of smelling, lighting, and smoking his cigar, often in places where smoking is not permitted (i.e., bank vestibules, hospital emergency rooms, public pools) and making a big fuss when asked to stop. Shouting “BACK! IN! BUSINESS!” when emptying the dryer at the laundromat. Trying to make a joke out of trying on lipstick at department store makeup counters, then quietly walking away with the lipstick still on. Ranting on and on about the “vundierum” (which I think is a nonsense word he uses in place of a slur when speaking about Norweigans, but I’m not positive). Wearing a Widespread Panic 2002 tour lanyard (that he got from God knows where). Eating soft serve ice cream cones in a really off-putting way. Nudging people on public transportation, smirking, lifting his shirt to reveal a handgun stuffed halfway into his pants, lowering his shirt, and winking. Staring at fast food employees from outside the window as they close up for the night. Nervously hesitating before getting onto an elevator, then stopping the doors from closing, waiting a few seconds, making eye contact with everyone on the elevator, then saying in a hushed tone, “THIS ELEVATOR IS GOING TO CRASH,” before finally letting the doors close without getting on. Please help me find my uncle before something really bad happens to somebody. Thank you for reading this e-mail, and if you haven’t already watched and voted for my entry into the CareerBuilder.com Super Bowl Commercial Contest, please do so. Much Luv,Brett Davis

Hello friends,

I write this e-mail in hopes that any of you may know the whereabouts of my dear Uncle Louie. He has been missing for several years and recently was spotted at this year’s Halloween parade. I have enclosed a photo (above) of his typical appearance (yes, he dresses like that on days that aren’t Halloween, as well). He has several traits that might draw your attention, so please take notice if you spot anybody doing anything like this:

Making a big production out of smelling, lighting, and smoking his cigar, often in places where smoking is not permitted (i.e., bank vestibules, hospital emergency rooms, public pools) and making a big fuss when asked to stop.

Shouting “BACK! IN! BUSINESS!” when emptying the dryer at the laundromat.

Trying to make a joke out of trying on lipstick at department store makeup counters, then quietly walking away with the lipstick still on.

Ranting on and on about the “vundierum” (which I think is a nonsense word he uses in place of a slur when speaking about Norweigans, but I’m not positive).

Wearing a Widespread Panic 2002 tour lanyard (that he got from God knows where).

Eating soft serve ice cream cones in a really off-putting way.

Nudging people on public transportation, smirking, lifting his shirt to reveal a handgun stuffed halfway into his pants, lowering his shirt, and winking.

Staring at fast food employees from outside the window as they close up for the night.

Nervously hesitating before getting onto an elevator, then stopping the doors from closing, waiting a few seconds, making eye contact with everyone on the elevator, then saying in a hushed tone, “THIS ELEVATOR IS GOING TO CRASH,” before finally letting the doors close without getting on.

Please help me find my uncle before something really bad happens to somebody. Thank you for reading this e-mail, and if you haven’t already watched and voted for my entry into the CareerBuilder.com Super Bowl Commercial Contest, please do so.

Much Luv,
Brett Davis