Note: I have been making these fake OkCupid profiles for some time now, but for this installment, I decided to hand over the reins. It is truly my honor to present the following OkCupid profile (and for the very first time, correspondences with other OkCupid users), written ENTIRELY by the esteemed poet and writer, Dr. Maya Angelou: OkCupid User: heymisterDJ18 / F / Bisexual / SingleVan Nuys, CaliforniaMy self-summaryI am a WomanPhenomenally.Phenomenal Woman,that’s me.What I’m doing with my lifeMy mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.I’m really good atPoetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into its own.The six things I could never do withoutPeace, My Brother.Peace, My Sister.Peace, My Soul.I spend a lot of time thinking aboutA story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, “Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”The most private thing I’m willing to admitThere is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.I’m looking forGuys who like girlsAges 18–22Near meFor casual sexYou should message me ifWhen a person shows who they really are, believe them. I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt. Maya Angelou’s works can be found at your local public library, I guess. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

Note: I have been making these fake OkCupid profiles for some time now, but for this installment, I decided to hand over the reins. It is truly my honor to present the following OkCupid profile (and for the very first time, correspondences with other OkCupid users), written ENTIRELY by the esteemed poet and writer, Dr. Maya Angelou:

OkCupid User: heymisterDJ
18 / F / Bisexual / Single
Van Nuys, California

My self-summary
I am a Woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Woman,
that’s me.

What I’m doing with my life
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

I’m really good at
Poetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into its own.

The six things I could never do without
Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
A story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, “Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 18–22
Near me
For casual sex

You should message me if
When a person shows who they really are, believe them. I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

Maya Angelou’s works can be found at your local public library, I guess. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

--Tagged under: okcupid--

--Tagged under: maya angelou--

OkCupid User: POLITICALEUNUCH39 / M / Straight / SingleLagos, NigeriaMy self-summary/I AM the Hon. Barrister Alyusi Olajengbesi Junior. \My father of directing of Nigerian National Petroleum Company left me that $40 million in his, however I initially search a soulmate.What I’m doing with my life/Currently functioning with the ministry for the Trade and Industry under the chief Henry Islassis, beside Malam Bacai Hassan. \I also gather kites.I’m really good atgame of /I the saxophone.The first things people usually notice about me/I AM a personal friend of Col. Yusef Saraki.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food/Osuofia in London, Aki na Ukwa, Igodo, 9 to 5, Domitila/Checkmate, Jaguar Ke, Rooster Crows At Dawn, Koko Close, Nash Bridges, Hotel de Jordan, Sura the Tailor/ Tshetsha Boys - Nwampfundla/ Mancingelani - Vana Vasesi/ Zinja Hlungwani - Ntombi Ya Mugaza/ Zinja Hlungwani - N’wagezani My Love/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve – Vanghoma/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve - Naxaniseka/ Tshetsha Boys - Uya Kwihi Ka Rose/ Nkata Mawewe - Khulumani/ Zinja Hlungwani – ThulaThe six things I could never do without/G-d/Ministry of Trade and Industry/SportI spend a lot of time thinking about/The autoguident to me could provide, given the funds obtained of the will of my father. /I would have many approvals and a grill of brick oven and a great television.On a typical Friday night I am/I dine with my mother or my colleagues with the ministry for the Trade and Industry. sleep of /I.The most private thing I’m willing to admit/I AM an eunuch. I was castrated by my respectful family as an young man in the efforts for the political office.I’m looking for Girls who like guys Ages 18–30 Located anywhere Who are single For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals You should message me if/You believe in G-d and romanticizes. /I amndt looking for romanticizes one the Internet, in the hopes to find has wife, has mother to future Olajengbesi generations, and has real woman to satisfy me with the foot romanticizes. /You are the woman for me please send your information and we will proceed with has meeting and see our compatibility. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

OkCupid User: POLITICALEUNUCH
39 / M / Straight / Single
Lagos, Nigeria

My self-summary
/I AM the Hon. Barrister Alyusi Olajengbesi Junior. \My father of directing of Nigerian National Petroleum Company left me that $40 million in his, however I initially search a soulmate.

What I’m doing with my life
/Currently functioning with the ministry for the Trade and Industry under the chief Henry Islassis, beside Malam Bacai Hassan. \I also gather kites.

I’m really good at
game of /I the saxophone.

The first things people usually notice about me
/I AM a personal friend of Col. Yusef Saraki.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
/Osuofia in London, Aki na Ukwa, Igodo, 9 to 5, Domitila

/Checkmate, Jaguar Ke, Rooster Crows At Dawn, Koko Close, Nash Bridges, Hotel de Jordan, Sura the Tailor

/ Tshetsha Boys - Nwampfundla
/ Mancingelani - Vana Vasesi
/ Zinja Hlungwani - Ntombi Ya Mugaza
/ Zinja Hlungwani - N’wagezani My Love
/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve – Vanghoma
/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve - Naxaniseka
/ Tshetsha Boys - Uya Kwihi Ka Rose
/ Nkata Mawewe - Khulumani
/ Zinja Hlungwani – Thula

The six things I could never do without
/G-d
/Ministry of Trade and Industry
/Sport

I spend a lot of time thinking about
/The autoguident to me could provide, given the funds obtained of the will of my father. /I would have many approvals and a grill of brick oven and a great television.

On a typical Friday night I am
/I dine with my mother or my colleagues with the ministry for the Trade and Industry. sleep of /I.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
/I AM an eunuch. I was castrated by my respectful family as an young man in the efforts for the political office.

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals


You should message me if
/You believe in G-d and romanticizes. /I amndt looking for romanticizes one the Internet, in the hopes to find has wife, has mother to future Olajengbesi generations, and has real woman to satisfy me with the foot romanticizes. /You are the woman for me please send your information and we will proceed with has meeting and see our compatibility.

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

--Tagged under: okcupid--

realbananazzz: craig evanhalen here, the enigmatic star of acclaimed rockdoc BANANAZZZ. today, i come to you with a heavy heart. director kate sweeney and the filmmakers behind the BANANAZZZ had an honest dream: to make me, craig evanhalen, the punk bob dylan. we succeeded in that dream, but it came at a cost. now the filmmakers are in debt to a mafioso—i’ll say the fucker’s name, vinny “the dog” d’agostino—and he is tired of waiting. he says he is going to MURDER the filmmakers if they do not raise the funds in the next 38 hours. i know, it sucks. so please, open up your hearts and wallets and save the lives of some intrepid young filmmakers with bright futures ahead of them by donating to the BANANAZZZ indiegogo. if you do not, and i do not mince words here, their blood will be on your hands. evanhalen out. #DIYorDIE #tooyoung

realbananazzz:

craig evanhalen here, the enigmatic star of acclaimed rockdoc BANANAZZZ. today, i come to you with a heavy heart.

director kate sweeney and the filmmakers behind the BANANAZZZ had an honest dream: to make me, craig evanhalen, the punk bob dylan. we succeeded in that dream, but it came at a cost.

now the filmmakers are in debt to a mafioso—i’ll say the fucker’s name, vinny “the dog” d’agostino—and he is tired of waiting. he says he is going to MURDER the filmmakers if they do not raise the funds in the next 38 hours. i know, it sucks.

so please, open up your hearts and wallets and save the lives of some intrepid young filmmakers with bright futures ahead of them by donating to the BANANAZZZ indiegogo. if you do not, and i do not mince words here, their blood will be on your hands. evanhalen out.

#DIYorDIE #tooyoung

OkCupid User: gmaildotcom 22 / F / Straight / SingleHazlet, New Jersey My self-summaryEmail: sandrablaine1951@gmail.comPassword: lilacflower3What I’m doing with my lifeMy name is Sandra Blaine. I am a retired clerical assistant, however I do work part-time as a sales associate at Macy’s. I have three daughters, and three grandchildren.I’m really good atMy daughters names are Amanda, Brittany, and Lynn. My grandchildren are named Nolan, Violet and Bailey. They are all under the age of three.The first things people usually notice about meViolet and Nolan belong to Amanda and her husband Anthony. Amanda works at the Bayshore Community Hospital as a nurse. Anthony works in construction. Brittany is married to a automotive repairman named Jason. Bailey is in college, and has a steady boyfriend named Juan, who is hispanic. She has no children as of right now and hopefully none until marriage.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodI am widowed. My husband, Charles died in 2009 after a heart attack. We were married for 40 years and he was my high school sweetheart. I miss him very much, but I am interested in signing up for your dating web site.I spend a lot of time thinking aboutI have two cats Percy and Toodles. Amanda named Toodles when she was very young, while I adopted Percy from a shelter. They are adorable. I call them my princesses http://i47.tinypic.com/2wg8a6g.jpg The most private thing I’m willing to admitI live in Hazlet, New Jersey, a town not far from the shore. I am allergic to gluten. I only learned of this allergy in the past few years, but it explains quite a bit!I request more information on how to sign up for the dating website OK Cupid. Please send this information to my email listed above. I’m looking forGuys who like girlsAges 50–70Near meFor new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals, casual sexYou should message me if840 Poole AvenueHazlet, NJ 07730(732) 739-1425American Express372024036813814Security code: 712 For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

OkCupid User: gmaildotcom
22 / F / Straight / Single
Hazlet, New Jersey

My self-summary
Email: sandrablaine1951@gmail.com
Password: lilacflower3

What I’m doing with my life
My name is Sandra Blaine. I am a retired clerical assistant, however I do work part-time as a sales associate at Macy’s. I have three daughters, and three grandchildren.

I’m really good at
My daughters names are Amanda, Brittany, and Lynn. My grandchildren are named Nolan, Violet and Bailey. They are all under the age of three.

The first things people usually notice about me
Violet and Nolan belong to Amanda and her husband Anthony. Amanda works at the Bayshore Community Hospital as a nurse. Anthony works in construction. Brittany is married to a automotive repairman named Jason. Bailey is in college, and has a steady boyfriend named Juan, who is hispanic. She has no children as of right now and hopefully none until marriage.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I am widowed. My husband, Charles died in 2009 after a heart attack. We were married for 40 years and he was my high school sweetheart. I miss him very much, but I am interested in signing up for your dating web site.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
I have two cats Percy and Toodles. Amanda named Toodles when she was very young, while I adopted Percy from a shelter. They are adorable. I call them my princesses http://i47.tinypic.com/2wg8a6g.jpg

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I live in Hazlet, New Jersey, a town not far from the shore. I am allergic to gluten. I only learned of this allergy in the past few years, but it explains quite a bit!

I request more information on how to sign up for the dating website OK Cupid. Please send this information to my email listed above.
 
I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 50–70
Near me
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals, casual sex

You should message me if
840 Poole Avenue
Hazlet, NJ 07730
(732) 739-1425

American Express
372024036813814

Security code: 712

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

--Tagged under: okcupid--

I am in the newest Good Cop Great Cop video! If you don’t know these guys, check them out because they will be very successful very soon. They make a video every week and the videos are always impressive and surprising. Check them out before they get really famous.

OkCupid User: in-D-pop28 / M / Straight / SingleBrooklyn, NYMy self-summarymy name is nico.an old soul, a visitor from a time long gone.feeling lost and unfufilled.i am digging through the carnations and roses to find cupid, ok or otherwise. a cherub to find me my one.who will not say no.who will stay and be my sitting figurewhile I paint the dark of loveupon her.What I’m doing with my lifei breathe music. i am the guitarist and co-songwriter of an indiepop trio. the band is called “▲ n ▲ g r ▲ m s,” and consists of me, my ex-girlfriend piper, and her twin sister minnie. i am still in love with them but i know it cannot be.I’m really good atpoemsThe first things people usually notice about memy old soul, my iconoclastic style, my gentle eyes.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodbooks: unbearable lightness of being. lolita. brothers kazarmov. scott pilgrim.movies: through a glass darkly. boys dont cry. speak. deliverance. human centipede.music: cocteau twins. slowdive. ▲ n ▲ g r ▲ m s. heavenly. tender trap. fleet foxes. antony. lullabies.food: red velvet cake.The six things I could never do without1. a pen2. one empty journal (which is my soul)3. a few packets of earl grey tea4. one lone glove5. a postcard too faded to read6. a locket containing your likeness, turning awayI spend a lot of time thinking aboutthe kind of lovemaking that ruins lives.me, goosenecked, clutching you as if my body were a magnet, holding you from the abyss by your hands and knees.you, woken from slumber by the ecstatic sensations happening within, choking on your screams.we don’t quite fit, like two puzzle pieces that aren’t meant for one another, forced together by a foolish child.the dark of love drizzled upon your body.On a typical Friday night I ammeeting people.The most private thing I’m willing to admiti am legally required to state somewhere on this profile that i am a registered level 3 sex offender. i have fallen victim to the ills of forbidden love one too many times. i am not ashamed of this, as i believe that one person’s shameful secrets are another’s unfettered howls. the events that devolved into to this legal trouble were beautiful in their own way. if what i did was so wrong, then let the seraphs judge me.I’m looking for Girls who like guys Ages 18–80 Near me For long-term dating, casual sex You should message me ifyou believe love can be a greater surprise than death. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

OkCupid User: in-D-pop
28 / M / Straight / Single
Brooklyn, NY

My self-summary
my name is nico.
an old soul, a visitor from a time long gone.
feeling lost and unfufilled.
i am digging through the carnations and roses to find cupid, ok or otherwise. a cherub to find me my one.
who will not say no.
who will stay and be my sitting figure
while I paint the dark of love
upon her.

What I’m doing with my life
i breathe music. i am the guitarist and co-songwriter of an indiepop trio. the band is called “▲ n ▲ g r ▲ m s,” and consists of me, my ex-girlfriend piper, and her twin sister minnie. i am still in love with them but i know it cannot be.

I’m really good at
poems

The first things people usually notice about me
my old soul, my iconoclastic style, my gentle eyes.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
books: unbearable lightness of being. lolita. brothers kazarmov. scott pilgrim.

movies: through a glass darkly. boys dont cry. speak. deliverance. human centipede.

music: cocteau twins. slowdive. ▲ n ▲ g r ▲ m s. heavenly. tender trap. fleet foxes. antony. lullabies.

food: red velvet cake.

The six things I could never do without
1. a pen
2. one empty journal (which is my soul)
3. a few packets of earl grey tea
4. one lone glove
5. a postcard too faded to read
6. a locket containing your likeness, turning away

I spend a lot of time thinking about
the kind of lovemaking that ruins lives.
me, goosenecked, clutching you as if my body were a magnet, holding you from the abyss by your hands and knees.
you, woken from slumber by the ecstatic sensations happening within, choking on your screams.
we don’t quite fit, like two puzzle pieces that aren’t meant for one another, forced together by a foolish child.
the dark of love drizzled upon your body.

On a typical Friday night I am
meeting people.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i am legally required to state somewhere on this profile that i am a registered level 3 sex offender. i have fallen victim to the ills of forbidden love one too many times. i am not ashamed of this, as i believe that one person’s shameful secrets are another’s unfettered howls. the events that devolved into to this legal trouble were beautiful in their own way. if what i did was so wrong, then let the seraphs judge me.

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–80
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, casual sex


You should message me if
you believe love can be a greater surprise than death.

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

--Tagged under: okcupid--

OkCupid User: imgaynowboys54 / M / Gay / SingleLyndhurst, New JerseyMy self-summaryRetired firefighter and recently gay goomba born and raised in Lyndhurst. Felt this way my whole life, but never accepted it, I even married a broad. im divorced now and im tired of being lonely. im on okcupid to meet guys and i also got a grindr accountSWGMdiscretetopDMW/EDDFGHF (glass half full)What I’m doing with my lifeIt’s Christmas last year, and my nephew a good kid but we never really got along all that well the kid says to me, Uncle Paulie I came outta the closet. Fuckin broke my heart. So I say to the kid “I’m really proud of ya” because a lotta guys like me would have shunned the kid, but I knew the truth in my heart about what i was. I did a lot of soulsearch and realized this is just what i am and i gotta accept it so nowI love going to bars and I go to the city a lot lately I’m really good atI’m the king of karaoke. From Uncle Frank to Uncle Tony, I sing the hits. since ive been going out with my nephews friends I do a lotta new songs tooThe first things people usually notice about mejersey strongFavorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodangels and demons, davinci code,deception point, the last don, think and grow richGodfather, Scarface, davinci code, Rocky, Analyze This (I have a cameo in the wedding scene)24, Sorpanos, Rupauls drag raceBeattles, stones, bruce, frank, tony, adele, gaga, dead mouse, azalia banksPIZZA!!!!!!!! pasta, steak, chocolate, sauceThe six things I could never do withoutGodfamilyfoodpizzapartyingNEW YORK GIANTSNEW YORK METSpoppersI spend a lot of time thinking aboutChris ChristieKeith HernandezYOLOOn a typical Friday night I amPairing up with my nephew and his friends and going out to the clubs.We have become very good friends since I came out and his friends are really fun.Theyre in their 20s and hip but i try not to cramp the kid’s style and his buddies dont seem to mind partying with an old fart like me!!He’s a good kid I like to look out for him and keep him away from bad dudes. Ive only been gay for a year but Ive been a guy for 53!!! The most private thing I’m willing to admitI lean republican on most issues and I do burlesque.I’m looking forGuys who like guysAges 21–30Near meFor new friends, short-term dating, activity partnersYou should message me ifSince I came out my friends kinda drifted away. now my friends are mostly my nephews friends. we would probably party with them quite a bit in the city. If you are young at heart or just plain young and wanna have dinner some time send Uncle Paulie a message. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

OkCupid User: imgaynowboys
54 / M / Gay / Single
Lyndhurst, New Jersey

My self-summary
Retired firefighter and recently gay goomba born and raised in Lyndhurst. Felt this way my whole life, but never accepted it, I even married a broad. im divorced now and im tired of being lonely. im on okcupid to meet guys and i also got a grindr account

SWGM
discrete
top
DM
W/E
DDF
GHF (glass half full)

What I’m doing with my life
It’s Christmas last year, and my nephew a good kid but we never really got along all that well the kid says to me, Uncle Paulie I came outta the closet. Fuckin broke my heart. So I say to the kid “I’m really proud of ya” because a lotta guys like me would have shunned the kid, but I knew the truth in my heart about what i was. I did a lot of soulsearch and realized this is just what i am and i gotta accept it so now

I love going to bars and I go to the city a lot lately

I’m really good at
I’m the king of karaoke. From Uncle Frank to Uncle Tony, I sing the hits. since ive been going out with my nephews friends I do a lotta new songs too

The first things people usually notice about me
jersey strong

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
angels and demons, davinci code,deception point, the last don, think and grow rich
Godfather, Scarface, davinci code, Rocky, Analyze This (I have a cameo in the wedding scene)
24, Sorpanos, Rupauls drag race
Beattles, stones, bruce, frank, tony, adele, gaga, dead mouse, azalia banks
PIZZA!!!!!!!! pasta, steak, chocolate, sauce

The six things I could never do without
God
family
food
pizza
partying
NEW YORK GIANTS
NEW YORK METS
poppers

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Chris Christie
Keith Hernandez
YOLO

On a typical Friday night I am
Pairing up with my nephew and his friends and going out to the clubs.We have become very good friends since I came out and his friends are really fun.Theyre in their 20s and hip but i try not to cramp the kid’s style and his buddies dont seem to mind partying with an old fart like me!!

He’s a good kid I like to look out for him and keep him away from bad dudes. Ive only been gay for a year but Ive been a guy for 53!!!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I lean republican on most issues and I do burlesque.

I’m looking for
Guys who like guys
Ages 21–30
Near me
For new friends, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if
Since I came out my friends kinda drifted away. now my friends are mostly my nephews friends. we would probably party with them quite a bit in the city. If you are young at heart or just plain young and wanna have dinner some time send Uncle Paulie a message.

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

--Tagged under: okcupid--

realbananazzz: THIS THURSDAY supp spineless worms, it’s your leader. since BANANAZZZ is in the REVOLUTION business, we are bringing our REVOLUTION to death by audio in “brooklyn” on thursday, april 4th. we will also be bringing other bands and comedy films whatever. plus, there will be surprises and did i mention a REVOLUTION!? WATCH OUT, “STATUS QUO” #occupydba screenings ofBANANAZZZ the story of the most important band of your generationI HATE BEING SINGLE rob michael hugel’s (ucb, onassis) popular webseries about a sad and awkward guy who is trying to figure himself out in “brooklyn”. i can’t relate, because i dont live in brooklyn i dont even know what it is.GOOD COP GREAT COP videos from this sketch group. i would say they are really funny but i dont see how we can laugh with so much war in the world. music byNUCLEAR SANTA CLAUST whatTRASH RIDE from poserville, usa aka new brunswick, nj aka “this town needs a grenade”LILITH VELKOR i missed this chick at the last screening but ill be looking for her ;) PLUS A SURPRISE GUEST TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON i have been talking to the guy from third eye blind it will be anarchy in the bk we are looking for a sponsorship Death By Audio - 49 South 2nd Street, Brooklyn, NY 8pm

realbananazzz:

THIS THURSDAY

supp spineless worms, it’s your leader. since BANANAZZZ is in the REVOLUTION business, we are bringing our REVOLUTION to death by audio in “brooklyn” on thursday, april 4th. we will also be bringing other bands and comedy films whatever. plus, there will be surprises and did i mention a REVOLUTION!? WATCH OUT, “STATUS QUO” #occupydba

screenings of

BANANAZZZ
the story of the most important band of your generation

I HATE BEING SINGLE
rob michael hugel’s (ucb, onassis) popular webseries about a sad and awkward guy who is trying to figure himself out in “brooklyn”. i can’t relate, because i dont live in brooklyn i dont even know what it is.

GOOD COP GREAT COP
videos from this sketch group. i would say they are really funny but i dont see how we can laugh with so much war in the world.

music by

NUCLEAR SANTA CLAUST
what

TRASH RIDE
from poserville, usa aka new brunswick, nj aka “this town needs a grenade”

LILITH VELKOR
i missed this chick at the last screening but ill be looking for her ;)

PLUS A SURPRISE GUEST TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON
i have been talking to the guy from third eye blind

it will be anarchy in the bk we are looking for a sponsorship

Death By Audio - 49 South 2nd Street, Brooklyn, NY

8pm

The crew behind BANANAZZZ has started an Indiegogo campaign to help post-fund the making of the film, and garner some money for promotion and submission to festivals. If you have seen the film and liked it, want to see the film, or simply want to support us, please donate! Doing so will get you these cool perks:

  • A BANANAZZZ zine, written by the characters in the film, and other special contributors, with exclusive content you can’t find anywhere else!
  • A BANANAZZZ CD and digital download, featuring songs by BANANAZZZ, and other bands that appear in the film and on the soundtrack.
  • A DVD of the film, featuring never-before-seen extras you won’t be able to see unless you have it!
  • BANANAZZZ merch! T-shirts, pins and more! 
  • Craig Evanhalen accepts your challenge. A one-of-a-kind comedy web video that you help create.
  • We will produce a video of your choosing. Want us to film a wedding? Make that short film idea you’ve always wanted to produce, but never had the means to? Want a music video? It’s up to you. We’ll make it.

Please reblog, retweet and spread the word about this campaign any way you can! Visit Indiegogo to learn more…

DONATE HERE!

realbananazzz:

new video in which i hate my parents OH WAIT NOTHIN NEW ABOUT THAT whatever go eat a bag of hate

Meet Craig’s parents, Charles and Charlotte Evanhalen. 

helpbrettdavismeetjeffgoldblum:

Highights from last night’s BANANAZZZ screening at The Paper Box in Brooklyn with Brick Mower, Kicking Spit, Lilith Velkor, City on Film & Good Cop Great Cop.

realbananazzz: ssssup it’s craig. lead singer of BANANAZZZ, enigmatic genius, voice of a generation. i am bringing a BANANAZZZ MOVIE SCREENING to the paper box in east williamsburg in “brooklyn” whatever.  but i’m not coming alone. i’ve invited some frenemies to play music and screen “comedy videos” at the show too. i dont know how i feel about “comedy”…theres nothing funny about MY message. THERE ARE TICKETS ALREADY ON PRESALE BUY SOME (sorry, 21+) THE BANDS: BANANAZZZ (the band) the buzziest band of 2012 now taking a 2013 victory lap. political, erotic, a charismatic frontman and unbreakable ethos. this band WILL change your life. brick mower i dont know them but i imagine they work in a record store or something.  kicking spit i dont know them but mark from BANANAZZZ is in this band too. by the end of the night he will have to MAKE A CHOICE. lilith velkor i don’t know her but i might ask her to be my girlfriend and then we can be #indiepowercouple2k13 just like best coast & wavves (my rival) THE SCREENINGS: BANANAZZZ (the film) follow the journey of a pure soul trying to tear down the walls of the…puppetmasters…whatever. city on film i dont know where to get a “film” projector so they better bring their stuff on video or something. good cop great cop ugh…cops.  The Paper Box - 17 Meadow Street, Brooklyn, NYThursday, November 10th - 1:00pm 

realbananazzz:

ssssup it’s craig. lead singer of BANANAZZZ, enigmatic genius, voice of a generation. i am bringing a BANANAZZZ MOVIE SCREENING to the paper box in east williamsburg in “brooklyn” whatever. 

but i’m not coming alone. i’ve invited some frenemies to play music and screen “comedy videos” at the show too. i dont know how i feel about “comedy”…theres nothing funny about MY message.

THERE ARE TICKETS ALREADY ON PRESALE BUY SOME (sorry, 21+)

THE BANDS:

BANANAZZZ (the band)

the buzziest band of 2012 now taking a 2013 victory lap. political, erotic, a charismatic frontman and unbreakable ethos. this band WILL change your life.

brick mower

i dont know them but i imagine they work in a record store or something. 

kicking spit

i dont know them but mark from BANANAZZZ is in this band too. by the end of the night he will have to MAKE A CHOICE.

lilith velkor

i don’t know her but i might ask her to be my girlfriend and then we can be #indiepowercouple2k13 just like best coast & wavves (my rival)

THE SCREENINGS:

BANANAZZZ (the film)

follow the journey of a pure soul trying to tear down the walls of the…puppetmasters…whatever.

city on film

i dont know where to get a “film” projector so they better bring their stuff on video or something.

good cop great cop

ugh…cops. 

The Paper Box - 17 Meadow Street, Brooklyn, NY
Thursday, November 10th - 1:00pm 

“Poison Arrow” featured in SPIN! High school Brett Davis would think now Brett Davis is so cool. Plus, BANANAZZZ mention!

“Poison Arrow” featured in SPIN! High school Brett Davis would think now Brett Davis is so cool. Plus, BANANAZZZ mention!

Finally, proud to present “Poison Arrow” by Screaming Females…the new video I made with Kate Sweeney (along with Kali Riley, Darren Mabee, Mark Bronzino and numerous other talented folks). Three sexy artists try to take out a frontrunner in the upcoming Screamales-themed art fair, but why?

The video premiered on Stereogum this morning, and it will blow your mind. Also be sure to pick up Screaming Females’ new EP, Chalk Tape which will also blow your mind.

Check out this video I helped make for New York Magazine, but for their website, which I guess is New York Website? It features life superstar DAVE HILL touring New York’s finest restaurants for the “solo romantic” on Valentine’s Day. Directed by another life superstar, Brendan Colthurst. It’s also really funny because loneliness.

(Source: fakerockstar)

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